Pumkin's "betrayal" of the Stallionaires is still an open, gaping wound for some in the house.
"You're going next!" Real screams. "I'm head hunting your ******* ass, dog!"
Pumkin, now realizing that she might have made a mistake after all, gets a consoling hug from the Entertainer. He promises to protect her. His method: Inviting Pumkin and Toastee to sleep in his room.
"I'd rather put up with an ADD psycho than be killed in my sleep," Pumkin says before moving into the Entertainer's abode.
Afterwards, Toastee and Pumkin go visit secret-alliance mastermind Megan and her trusted assistant Brandi C. The fearsome foursome giggles at its success thus far and pledges to keep their blonde ambitions quiet.
Rodeo, meanwhile, looks to be hitching her fortunes to different-colored horse. The Gold team member moves into a room with Green team members. Heather, a Goldie herself, is suspicious of the move.
The next morning, the contestants get the "Challenge Call" from Craig. "We know things can get a little routine in the house, so today you'll be taking a bit of a road trip," the host with the most says. Routine? Does he watch this show?
But first, the teams need to pick their captains. The Gold team chooses Heather, who has it out for Hoopz and Rodeo. The Green team has a tougher time. Both Megan and Real want to be captain. After much arguing, Real makes Megan swear on a Bible that she will do whatever he says. Something tells us the holy vow is less than sacred.
"I do what I want to do," Megan tells the camera -- eternal damnation be damned.
Elsewhere, Rodeo strikes a deal with Hoopz. The two Gold team members -- who have an alliance with Green team members -- will throw the day's challenge in hopes that a Gold team member will be sent home. Tricky, tricky.
Challenge time. The two teams assemble in a neighborhood plaza. "Road Trip" will see two players dragging two other team members in sleds. Along the way, the teams will stop at stations to consume ample quantities of themed food from certain episodes of "Rock of Love," "I Love New York" and "Flavor of Love." The first team to consume all the grub at the food stations and then cross the finish line wins.
The Gold team chooses who will play and who will sit out. Heather, who doesn't trust Hoopz as far as she can punt her, decides to bench the pseudo Stallionaire. 12 Pack and The Entertainer will pull the sleds while Rodeo and Pumkin ride.
"I'm throwing the damn thing," Rodeo tells the camera.
The first stop: Stuffing their faces with L.A. sushi, ala "Rock of Love."
"The Entertainer does NOT like sushi," the Entertainer says. "I am NOT happy."
Indeed, the Entertainer seems to have a difficult time ingesting the fish. The Green team, on the other hand, finishes scarfing its food quickly and takes off in the sled. Next stop: A Vegas-style buffet, also ala "Rock of Love." This time, they stuff their maws with macaroni salad and shrimp. The Gold team arrives in Vegas ... and Rodeo starts stalling.
The Green team moves on to Jamaica for some jerk chicken, ala "I Love New York." Brandi C., who doesn't appear to eat many meals in the first place, starts to feel a bit queasy. She is not the only one to be on the verge of puking. Whiteboy, after hauling two (albeit small) women in the hot sun, struggles to stuff his face.
And we can't disagree. The "Flavor of Love" in France crepes -- which have been baking in the hot sun for some time -- look less than appetizing. Brandi C. certainly thinks so.
"I'm throwing up and I'm eating at the same time so I'm basically eating my throw up," she explains. Disgusting.
With Brandi C. struggling, Rodeo starts stalling again. The tactic does not go unnoticed by Heather. Brandi C. finally chokes down the last of her crepe/ vomit combo and gets into the sled. The Green team crosses the finish line. It's their first challenge win in some time.
"I feel like this is the greatest comeback in American history," Real says.
And then the real puking begins. Native Mexicans watch as a group of scantily clad, tattooed, big-haired reality-TV "celebrities" puke their guts out in the middle of the street. Classy.
"This is the worst challenge ever," Brandi C. says. We're inclined to agree.
And then it gets worse. Hoopz initiates a nonsensical screaming match with the Entertainer and Heather in front of the assembled crowd. "Loud American" takes on a whole new level of insipid meaning. After the argument dies down, the groups realize that team captain Megan is now the paymaster. This fact worries Hoopz.
"Megan can do whatever she wants," Hoopz tells the camera. "Whiteboy thinks he has control over Megan, but you never know."
Back at the house, Heather and the Entertainer want Hoopz gone. Rodeo, meanwhile, tries to ingratiate herself to various people in the house. She even bakes 12 Pack a cake for his birthday. Eventually, the Gold team heads to the vault. Votes are taken. Rodeo goes in the box. Hoopz goes in the box. Neither is very happy about it. Rodeo, in fact, is livid. She accuses everyone and anyone of turning on her. She baked 12 Pack a cake, didn't she? Finally, Toastee goes in the box. It's power outing time.
The ladies and Megan -- carrying a cocktail in one hand and her Chihuahua in the other -- arrive to find a small river raft waiting along with a guide. Megan, who was hoping for a yacht, is less than pleased.
"Power outings are supposed to be about cocktails and massages," Megan tells the camera. "Not about being in a dirty boat in a dirty river with some dirty people."
The girls head down river. Megan quickly figures out that Rodeo will literally do anything that she tells her, which means that Rodeo goes chasing after some horses. When the foursome arrives at their own private beach , Rodeo starts making Megan's drinks. Sad, really.
Megan, who apparently has no problem abusing her sudden power, announces that she will not be making any decisions at elimination tonight ... but her dog will. Thus, the ladies are instructed to speak to the Chihuahua wearing a pink crown.
"Are you kidding me? "Hoopz asks.
Nope. One by one, the woman take turns holding the tiny dog and talking to it. Hoopz gets her chat over quickly enough, but Rodeo takes the dog and soon begins crying. The cowgirl pleads with the dog to keep her in the house. The cringe factor reaches a new high.
"I know Megan wants us to put on a show and pretend were talking to Lily, but Rodeo is actually talking to Lily," Toastee says with an appropriate amount of disgust.
Megan chooses Rodeo for one-on-one time. Megan demands to know why Rodeo has been out to get her the whole time but has undergone a sudden and most convenient change of heart. Rodeo has no good answer. In fact, she just starts crying again. The woman, apparently, has emotional AND money issues.
Back at the house, Whiteboy encourages Megan to get rid of Toastee.
"The only thing that would piss me off, ready to kill, if she eliminates Hoopz tonight," Whiteboy tells the camera.
Immediately afterwards, Brandi C. tells Megan: "We need to get rid of Hoopz now."
What is a Chihuahua-toting, secret-alliance forming blonde to do?
Elimination time. The teams gather solemnly outside the mansion. A solemn Craig introduces Megan, who enters to solemn music.
The first person to stay is ... Toastee.
"She's not a threat," Megan says. "She's not worth anything. She might as well not be here, but she's not worth getting rid of for now."
Megan explains to the camera that she is trying to hide their alliance by insulting the woman. Toastee, on the other hand, tells the camera that Megan might have gone a bit too far.
The second person to stay is ... Hoopz. Whiteboy and Real are visibly relieved. Rodeo is not. Why? Because the selection of Hoopz means that Rodeo is gone baby gone.
"I hope my time on this show will inspire people to keep going and not give up on anything," Rodeo says. "I hope my fans don't think I'm a failure. I really do."
Don't worry, Rodeo. We still love ya.
And just when you think it couldn't get any crazier, Craig drops a bomb: The teams will merge. From here on out, it's every money-hungry pseudo-celebrity for him or her self.
"Game on, bitches," Heather says.
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